A late night phone call from a friend of mine tonight struck a nerve in my brain. He had called mainly to vent and/or get girl advice (I'm not sure if he wanted the advice or just wanted to vent, in whichever case, he got a two-for-one!). One comment he made was along the lines of "Most girls seem to want guys who treat them like shit and they have no interest in the good ones." This really struck a nerve with me.
How screwed up has our society come that people honestly believe that!? No one really wants to be treated like crap or ignored, so why do we let it happen?
Tonight isn't the first time I've come across people thinking this way and I'm not saying that I haven't done it myself. I'll admit that I've been in a crappy relationship, or two, and I let someone treat me like dirt. Yet, I stayed with them. Why? Honestly, I'm not really sure. Maybe because I firmly believe that people can change if they choose to, or I may simply be stupid. Either way, you've most likely already guessed that those relationships did not last. One because I finally woke up and realized that I deserved better and the other (ironically the one who I thought was "better") disappointed me when I needed support the most.
Now, I am not a relationship expert by any means nor am I a psychologist/sociologist/any other profession that understands people's' behavior. I am simply a 21 year old girl who has been in three serious relationships in my life. Now if you've done the math you know that two of these three were not healthy and did not last (The third is current and I couldn't be happier FYI).
So my main thought for tonight... Absolutely no one deserves to be treated badly. Honestly, I don't care who you are or what you do, there is no reason for people to treat you badly. If you're genuinely a good person, great! If you're troubled, that's just more reason to treat you well.
I believe that the way we think we should be treated is directly related to how we interact with others. If others treat you like crap constantly, you're going to think that's what you deserve. If those around you give you respect, you'll be more likely to expect it. This all circles back to self-esteem.
While spending all of this time thinking about how upsetting it is that some individuals expect/want to be treated badly; I realized that it is equally as bad to expect your significant other to constantly bow down at your feet. I know girls who expect their boyfriend to do literally everything for them. They can't be bothered to lift a finger to open their own door, pay for their own meal, drive themselves to the grocery store, ect. Same goes for men. I know guys who expect their girlfriend to do their laundry, cook for them, ect. Both are completely absurd.
I guess what I'm trying to get at with this is that in a relationship there needs to be a balance. Yes, you should do nice gestures for them; but that doesn't mean you have to give up your life for them. But at the same time, you need to realize that no matter who you are, you deserve to be treated well by the person you're with.
If you think you don't deserve someone who will treat you well or that you don't deserve to be loved just wait... I was that person too. Until one guy came into my life and changed it all.
There's someone out there for everyone. You have an entire lifetime to meet that person. Odds are you already have or that they've been right under your radar the whole time.
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